An Overdue Visit

We are nearing the end of organizing in our new spaces. Jim has so much time on his hands he mopped the garage floor. I have been keeping quiet and not making any honey do demands on him so he can figure out how he wants to fill his days. 

I am trying to figure out when and how to reopen my Etsy shop. The time keeps getting pushed back as he comes up with ideas for all the trips he wants to take. We are considering trips to Utah and Hawaii. After that I hope I can stay home for awhile and get my shop stocked for a good fall and holiday selling season. I have so many hats, shawls, scarves and more already made that I need to get to new homes. Wish me luck from the sales goddess.

We have made one retirement trip already to southern California. Now I remember why I don't want to live there again, traffic! 

My mother recently joined the ranks of the fully vaccinated. Jim and I got our shots months ago. With all of us having been jabbed we felt safe taking a short road trip to visit my mother. She will be 87 this summer and it has been more that a year since I have been to her home. 

Our visit was about 3 days which is plenty long since having company upsets her routines and wears her out even though she loves having family come to see her. When I look around her house I always see things I have made. I am sharing pictures below of a few of them. Some of these items were make more that 30 years ago. Yes I am that old and have been crocheting and occasionally quilting much longer that that. 

Back with more again soon. Take care and stay cozy!

A Hard Week

I don't have any crafty new things to show off this week. I do have another rug started. I have been reading daily, a habit that is as necessary to me as breathing. This hard week did have one very bright spot in it. I met up with a friend for breakfast and we chatted for hours. 

Beyond that I have talked nearly every day to my mother. These calls have been emotionally draining. The aftermath of them have been disturbing my sleep patterns and I end this week incredibly tired. 

My mother, at 85, is going through some changes with more to come. She is distressed by all the details she doesn't understand. I have spent hours giving reassurances that things are alright and she is overthinking details that aren't worth the bother to no avail. My other siblings have been doing the same. Some of them live close enough to be there physically more often than I can. They are all carrying the same emotional load that I am. The conversations start again the next day with the same rants over and over and over again. I have never felt so powerless and useless in my life. 

I don't want to put more about this here today. I just can't. I want to hear some happiness in her voice and be able to sleep instead of being unable to shut off the swirling thoughts on how to fix something that may very well be impossible to fix.

Photo by Ross Findon on Unsplash

Change is incredibly hard for some and especially for my mother. My hope is that when I face the changes that come with age in my own life I can face them with grace.

I leave this post today hoping to feel better when I post again next Friday.
Back with more again soon. Take care and stay cozy!

Worry

Two weeks ago I was at my Mother's house for a week long visit. I left saddened and a bit worried. I was saddened by the anger she showed when watching the news. Understand that Fox is her favorite news station and for me that cable channel could disappear and I would be filled with joy. She would change to other news channels and spend time yelling at the television.

She and I are so very far apart in our views on politics and life in general. She actually said that nice people are weaklings who never win anything. She also believes that my attempts to find something good about everyone I meet is naive and silly. Not responding to her disdain, taunts and criticism is so hard but would be futile so I do my best. I would love to be able to enjoy being with her but that is a very rare thing when we are together.

My worry is about her confused memories. I have a couple things that happened in my life, what they are does not matter. What does matter is that when they happened she was not with me. She is now telling my stories as if she was there and a part of these events when they occurred. She has internalized my moments as her own and who knows how much else in her mind is false and taken from others.

It was another short night. I talked a bit about that yesterday. I'll need a nap today I am sure. Besides that I will be retweeting those who have shown me some attention on Twitter. I also hope to get some pictures taken for new listings. If I manage that I should be blogging about those new listings tomorrow. We'll see.

Back with more again soon. Take care and stay cozy!