Sense of Anxiety

The leaves are beginning to change here around Jackson. At the higher elevations it is obvious but here in town the tree across the street is showing the first signs of change by showing off a glorious yellow glow.

With the coming of fall and going into winter lots of big events are lined up. Thoughts of all that needs to happen and thoughts of spending so much time traveling start a sleep reducing train of thoughts that run through my mind over and over. Along with my racing thoughts come a real physical fight or flight kind of feeling. I feel tense and a bit shaky. All of this piled up on someone is is a introvert is hard. Forcing myself to break it down to one step at a time helps, exercise helps, but it is still there.

First up is a visit with my mother. I am going with a sister to spend a week with Mom. These visits can be tough. She loves to have company but she is bossy and judgmental. Listening to her negative barrage of opinions about everyone can be emotionally draining. Then a cycle of guilt starts about not wanting to be there for a visit at all. I need to see her and I will go and take walks and deep breathes, count to 10 and put a smile on my face.

Next Jim wants to take a vacation this fall. Now I know this is a good thing. I will love the trip we're  planning and I will tell you all about it here later but once again I have to leave my nest to do this.

Last on the pile of things on my mind is still a probability but is likely to happen. After the first of the year we will (I hope) be making a permanent move to our home in Phoenix. But that means I need to plan and organize breaking down my household and setting it up again. I feel like I could be almost professional about this by now. Consider that I have moved in 2010, 2011, 2012, 2014 and tried to set up retirement homes in 2016 and 2017 and well made plans for those last two moves got derailed by the needs of others.

Add in all the holidays and the desires to be with family and there you have it. A fall and winter designed to keep this introverted lady out of her nest and away from her crafts and books. Maybe by February I will feel settled again. I hope so. I am never bored at home.

Back with more again soon. Take care and stay cozy!